A field guide to overpriced everything
Luxury.
Meet common sense.
Has luxury become detached from reality? One ordinary bloke, a great many extraordinary experiences, and an opinion nobody asked for. The only question that matters: would he do it again?
Read the latestMeet Grump
The questions nobody else will ask
Grump grew up on crushed Vegemite sandwiches.
He still asks the things nobody else in the room seems willing to.
Why does a hotel room require an engineering degree to operate the lights?
If dinner costs $400, why am I considering a kebab afterwards?
Why does the lounge have facial mist but no spare phone chargers?
Has anyone involved in designing this actually used it?
Fresh from the dining room
The latest grumbles
Sometimes magnificent. Sometimes ridiculous. Often both.
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Grump Goes Theatrical
Noni Hazlehurst, a second venue nobody mentioned, and the lift level named after one of the Bananas in Pyjamas. A night at the theatre with & Co and his famously…
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Grabber Granny Gets My Goat
Our first Good Food & Wine Show together in years, and one very determined stranger who chose exactly the wrong sentimental occasion.
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The Paris Story
A flat overlooking the Louvre, a bathroom up a ladder, and why Grump reviews the whole experience, not the components.
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Why “It Needs Garlic” Is a Compliment
Why “It needs garlic” is the second-highest praise Grump can give, and what it takes to earn “It was good”.
The scoring system
How Grump rates things
Fluent in sarcasm, thin on stars. Learn the language before you read the reviews.
“It was good.”
The theatrical equivalent of “No notes.” Everything worked. Nothing requires fixing. No action items have been raised.
“It needs garlic.”
To the untrained ear it means he doesn’t like it. To the trained ear it means he’s invested, interested, and can see how to make it better. A love language lost somewhere in Google Translate.
Would I do it again?
If yes, you’ll hear about it. If no, you’ll hear about that too.
This is not a luxury blog.It is not a travel blog.And it is certainly not an influencer blog.
Pull up a chair. The waiter will be with you shortly to explain the emotional journey of the lettuce.
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